Coping With Emotional Effects of Infertility

This article looks at the emotional effects of infertility and some strategies for coping

Emotion = energy in motion. Each emotion has a frequency and a wavelength.emotional effects of infertility

This is why dogs can often sense your fear and growl at you or can sense your sadness and nuzzle you to make you feel better.

Like anything that emits a frequency, emotions require energy.

That valuable energy is coming from your energy reserves. Some unpleasant emotions (sadness, anger and rage) can actually help us grow and teach us a lot as long as we know how to harness them.

Let’s look at some common negative emotions in turn:

Sadness can be a therapeutic emotion if we allow ourselves to express it. Crying can be very cleansing; it removes old painful emotions and memories.

Here is what Clarissa Pinkola – Estes wrote about tears and crying in her beautiful book “Women who run with the wolves”:

“Tears are rivers that take you somewhere. Weeping creates a river around the boat that carries your soul-life. Tears lift your boat off the rocks, off dry ground, carrying it downriver to someplace new, someplace better.”

Anger and rage are very powerful emotions. They can also be very cleansing, but in a different way (like a thunder and lightning storm) if released in a productive way.

Guilt is an emotion with little to offer – guilt keeps taking and gives nothing back. Unresolved guilt can attack our own being from the inside and literally eat away at us.

The first step towards releasing an emotion is to become aware of it. Sometimes we carry emotional effects of infertility around with us for so long that we forget what it really feels like to be free of them.

Here are 8 ways to deal with emotional effects of infertility

  1. Become fully aware of how you feel and write it down.
  2. Write down all the thoughts that come up while feeling each emotion. These are the anchors which keep the emotion in place.
  3. For each emotion write down what exactly makes you feel this way (a person, a situation, something about you…).
  4. The emotion will intensify or change when you hit the cause and when it does just allow it to flow.
  5. If it’s a person that’s making you feel the way you do, write a letter to that person explaining exactly how you feel and why. You don’t have to send the letter, you can throw it out as a symbol of letting go of that emotion in your life.
  6. If you’ve had a miscarriage or an abortion write a letter to the spirit that was with you and explain to them that you miss them (if you miscarried) or why you could not look after them at the time (if you had an abortion). Tell them that you wish for them to return and explain that you first need to let go of all the negative emotions related to the event in order for the spirit to move on or come back to you.
  7. Before going to sleep at night, think about your desire to be pregnant and have a baby. Lie down in your bed and mentally scan your body for any images or emotions that may be coming up and remember their location. Notice the colors and shapes that you see as they will be valuable clues as to where your blockage to pregnancy may lie. Take a deep breath and visualize the emotion/shape/color leaving your body with the exhalation and new bright white/golden light filling its place on the next inhalation. Repeat this for all blockages you come across. Next visualize the golden light filling your whole body. Express your gratitude for your beautiful healthy body and go to sleep. Keep repeating this for a month, or until you can’t detect any odd shapes and colors with your mental scan.
  8. Become aware of your real emotions. Many times we consciously desire one thing but subconsciously believe the opposite. Maybe you have an underlying emotion deep within you which is preventing you from becoming pregnant. If that may be the case write down on a piece of paper why you possibly would not want to be a parent or be a parent but not be pregnant. Sometimes it’s the fear of pregnancy that keeps it at bay.

Fears and emotional effects of infertility can pose a mental or physical block to pregnancy and as such you need to become aware of them.

To see how quickly thoughts can influence your body do the following exercise:

  • Imagine you are standing in the open doorway of a flying airplane with a parachute attached to your back.
  • All you can see is the ground far below and you need to jump…..

If you visualized this and you are not a professional skydiver it’s most likely that your palms went sweaty or your heart started racing. Even though this was not real, your brain interpreted your thoughts and visions as real. Fears and thoughts and beliefs from a long time ago have the same effect on our conscious and subconscious mind and the body.

So there is a lot to be said about the things we read, saw, heard as we were growing up. We may have forgotten about them but our subconscious mind hasn’t.

There are many effective methods for releasing old negative emotions which are standing in our way of living a full and a happy life. Good emotional cleansers are:

–          Meditation

–          Visualization

–          TFT

–          EFT

–          Yoga

–          Breathing Exercises

–          Creative expression (dance, painting, writing)

–          Exercise

–          Massage

–          Heart to heart talk with your best friend

–          NLP

Fears and negative emotional effects of infertility can can be overwhelming for couples. Unfortunately those same emotions can also add to the infertility problem and pose a mental or physical block to pregnancy I hope this article introduced some ideas for coping with common emotional effects of infertility.

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About the Author: Iva Keene MRMed. ND. - Natural Fertility Specialist

Iva Keene is co-founder, creator and award-winning author of the NFP Program and director of She holds a Bachelor Degree in Health Science in Naturopathy and a Master Degree in Reproductive Medicine. She has been a qualified and internationally accredited Naturopathic Physician for over 15 years. Since founding NFP in 2008, Iva’s articles, videos, guides, and reports have reached over 1.3 million people. Iva has dedicated her professional life to supporting couples on their path to parenthood with scientifically grounded information, protocols, and coaching around preconception care, natural infertility treatments, and integrative reproductive health.